Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Free sanitary items for young girls, rant...

In every social media situation whereby a debate of opinion arises there is always a troll, there is always a sad individual who has nothing better to do with their life than purposely going out of their way to behave like a moron and aggravate everyone in order to gain their own twisted kick.

Last night a debate arose on a local site around the topic of free menstruation sanitation products for woman or girls in particular.

This excuse for a member of the male race in no better words voiced the opinion that these items should be given out for free because then people would expect everything for free, he also went on to say that woman had survived without these items in the past so why can they not find an alternative now, when the opinion of free condoms came up which is a choice unlike a period for a girl, he went on to say that condoms prevent diseases and this is why they are handed out for free.

Now whilst I agree that that is the supposed reasoning behind giving condoms out for free and that yes they do indeed prevent STD’s, Sex unlike a period is still a choice, it is not a need or something that cannot be helped it is a choice.

However a monthly period is not and for most impoverished families the reality is that if one is given the choice between bread and milk for their family or sanitary items you will always find that food wins, and this means that many MANY young girls and woman are unfortunately forced to not attend school for the time over which their periods take place which in some ladies case can be up to 10 days.

Add that all up and that is a lot of time missed from school that can so easily be avoided.

Bringing up the point of what woman used before these items were available, woman did use items such as sheep’s wool, grass and cloth however these items were not very sanitary and still left a smell which at a time whereby general sanitation was in itself terrible was not too much of an issue, it would be a very real and embarrassing issue today and again one that can be so easily avoided.

Now I agree that not everything should be freely given, I do not believe that tertiary education should be free, I do believe it is a privilege that should be earned either through attaining a bursary with hard earned marks or by financial means however I do believe very strongly that basic primary education should be free and easily attainable for all children, if basic education were free more children would be able attend and at least attain a basic level of education which many children cannot afford to attain, I also believe that things such as sanitary items and basic medical care should be available for free as well to everyone as these are a need and/ or things that are not a choice but a given.

I am very lucky in that I no longer have to deal with a monthly period after having a hysterectomy 3 years ago, but I can tell you that financially sanitary items are ridiculously priced and just not feasible for so many people, there are sanitary items such as diva cups and cloth pads that can be reused however this is not always plausible when one does not have access to clean free water or sanitation in general.

At the end of the day it is not the fault of the child and they should not have to miss out on an education for something that can so easily be helped, our government and our people need to come together and fight for the rights of these young woman and our future young woman.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Confessions of a bad mom

I have no idea why I have put off seeing the movie Bad moms for so long but I did get round to watching it this weekend along with Bridget Jones Diary and how to be single and oh my word guys, movie of the year for me seriously what an aha movie it resonated with me to the core.

As a mom I know I am not the only one who has frequent moments whereby you feel like you are failing and doing everything wrong, where you wonder if walking the journey of parenthood was placed correctly in your hands by whomever god or gods you follow.

Days when you pray for a quiet breakfast or in my case for breakfast at all, days when you just want 5 minutes of peace and then when you get it you miss the hell out of your kids and feel guilty for wishing for it in the first place and feel like a bad mom.

There is so much pressure placed on moms and kids these days, life is constant and you are left with so little down time and time to truly appreciate each other.

You run through your day trying to get everything done and you arrive home stressed out to stressed out kids, who are expected to complete so much work that they no longer have the opportunity to enjoy their childhood in the way we did, constant projects constant tests, kids on anxiety meds before they can write their name.

You have to compete with the moms who seem to have it all, the moms who manage to run between meetings, work and a long list of social activities, moms who make having 3 or more kids look like a walk in the park, moms who always manage to look like they have walked out of a solon, there are many days when I have run into the school just as the school bell has run, coffee on my shirt, my kids looking disheveled, I deplore any sort of school meeting and will avoid it if at all possible and I don’t believe in forcing my kids into sports or social activities…. I sound like a terrible mom, I lose my patience I shout and on occasion have sworn or thrown a shoe,  there have even been a time or two when I have taken 2 baths in one day just to get 15 minutes of peace….

But if there is one thing I know it’s this… I adore my children, they are my world and I will do anything for them, I will sit for an hour with my eldest trying to complete what should essentially be a 10 minute activity, I will sit on the internet googling earthquakes and whatever else I need to ensure my son produces the best oral he possibly can, I will drive to 3 different schools every day to ensure my kids are happy and feel comfortable in their environment and school, I will give my last 10 for a civvies day and go without supper any day to give my kids seconds, I will sit through hours of youtube replays and will sit on pinterest for hours trying to plan the perfect birthday party or teachers gift and I will rock my youngest to sleep every night to have that extra cuddle time and give him the security and love he wants after a day of school and work.

I may be a bad mom in so many ways but in my heart I am know that my kids think I am the bomb and that is really all that matters, it’s worth every moment for my kids, they grow so fast and before I know it they will be grown, and when they get there I want them to know that I gave it my all even if sometimes I stumbled and failed I did my best and I think that as moms we need to step back and realise as long as we are giving it everything we can, we are doing great and sometimes being a bad mom makes you a great one.

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

A small confession and kids at odds

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, it’s not something I have ever admittedly said aloud, but sometimes I envy moms with single children… shock and horror… let me explain.

I adore my kids and having 3 for me has been a perfect number I wouldn’t have it any other way!

However I do envy that with a singular child you only have one personality to contend with, whereas in my situation I have 3 and believe when I say they are all 3 so vastly different it’s like dealing with a split personality.

Loghan is so loving and so kind but hellava bossy when it comes to his younger brothers and because of his disorder loves to show his brothers how they are playing with something incorrectly or doing something incorrectly or that they have pronounced a word incorrectly… you get the picture.

So this puts him at odds with most adults because he loves to assume he is an adult trapped in a child’s body as well as children who do not appreciate being told what or how to do things.  Loghan has great social difficulties and struggles to make friends and this puts him at odds with Gabriel in particular.

You see Gabriel has too many friends to count, he is very easy going and has a very vivid imagination and tends to get along with everyone, this bothers Loghan and leads to much jealousy and argument in our household.

Gabriel on the other hand has odds with Jesse, Jesse is in between the other two, socially he has many friends, his teachers and other adults always gush over him and want to cuddle and play with him, he returns this affection with a coy and shy persona which makes everyone love him even more, but he is also quite firm in things being just so and getting his way and loves to tease Gabriel and get up to mischief which is just up Loghan’s alley so they are thick as thieves and have had a very close bond from the get go.

Their different personalities mean they often clash with each other and it also makes discipline incredibly difficult because what works for the one does not necessarily in fact often doesn’t work for the other, I can give Gabriel a smack on the hand and he will listen whereas Jesse will Laugh and Loghan will just have a meltdown, but take a privilege away from Loghan or send him to his room, it may be a huff and a puff to get there but his behaviour changes dramatically after that.

Their love languages are also different- Loghan likes gifts and tokens and requires constant assurance and affirmation and time as well, while Gabriel loves to be held and Jesse is a mix of personal affection and time, this also makes things difficult because when doing one activity the one will most likely complain as they do not feel the activity or time spent is enough or suitable for all.

Loghan requires constant attention and cannot play alone while Gabriel is the opposite this will lead to Gabriel complaining that we do not spend the same amount of time and energy on him, which in some respects may be true but it is not on purpose… you see what I mean… you just cannot win =)

I will say it again, I love my kids and 3 is my perfect number it doesn’t make the journey easy =)